Why is this so complicated?
Deep within every single dad, there’s an unyielding dedication to their child’s well-being. For me, this dedication means keeping promises, especially when it comes to our nightly goodnight call. We had settled on a specific time, carefully chosen to ensure our child’s comfort. It’s that moment when our little one has been bathed, fed, and read to, snuggled into bed with their favorite stuffed animal. It’s the time when they eagerly await the agreed-upon hour and the familiar ring of the phone, signaling that it’s time to connect with their kiddo.
I take this commitment seriously, almost sacredly. I prepare our child for the call with meticulous care, ensuring they are in the right state of mind to speak with their mother. They are calm, content, and ready to share their day. I’ve learned that consistency and routine are vital for our child’s emotional well-being, and our agreed-upon call time is a cornerstone of this stable routine.
The Mother’s Unpredictable Bedtime Routine
On her nights, the atmosphere couldn’t be more different. Our child’s bedtime routine becomes a tumultuous affair, marked by chaos and confusion. Instead of the peaceful and loving atmosphere I’ve created, they become distracted, fidgety, and easily agitated.
During these calls, my child is anything but calm. They bounce around, bite their lip in frustration, and frequently turn away from the camera to play with their toys. It’s as if the sacred act of saying goodnight has been turned into a circus, with the spotlight away from the main attraction: the connection between our child and their mother.
What’s even more disheartening is that the agreed-upon time for these calls is often forgotten or blatantly ignored. It’s a painful reality that, as a single dad, I’m forced to confront regularly. This inconsistency in our child’s bedtime routine is not only detrimental to their sleep but also to their sense of security and stability.
The Pain of Unfulfilled Promises
The pain I feel in these moments is indescribable. I’ve offered numerous times to adjust the call time to accommodate her schedule, to make things easier for our child, but my suggestions have been met with stubborn resistance.
As a parent, witnessing your child’s suffering is an experience that cuts deep. It’s a feeling of helplessness, knowing that your child deserves better, that they deserve a responsible bedtime routine, and that they deserve the consistency we had initially agreed upon. Yet, it’s not just the inconsistency that plagues these calls; it’s the feeling of manipulation and indifference that hurts the most.
Manipulation and Indifference
It’s heartbreaking to see a mother, someone who should be a pillar of support and love, resort to petty antics and manipulation. Our child’s well-being should be the top priority, but instead, it’s treated as an afterthought.
There’s a stark contrast between the calls I make on my nights and those she makes on hers. When it’s my turn, I ensure that our child receives a high-quality goodnight call filled with warmth and love. However, when the roles are reversed, it becomes apparent that this level of care is not reciprocated.
It’s a bitter pill to swallow, realizing that the person you once shared your life with is using these moments as a power play, a way to assert control. These petty antics, whether intentional or not, only serve to harm our child’s emotional well-being and their ability to say goodnight to their father.
The Search for Solutions
The emotional toll of this situation is immense. I’m left grappling with a mix of sadness and anger. I’m sad because our child deserves better, and it’s painful to watch them suffer due to a lack of consistency and a mother’s indifference.
I’m angry because it’s clear that there’s a better way, a way to prioritize our child’s well-being and provide them with a stable bedtime routine. I’ve tried to reason, to communicate, but it often feels like I’m talking to a wall of stubbornness and resistance.
Yet, in the midst of this sadness and anger, there’s also a glimmer of hope. I refuse to let our child’s bedtime routine become a battleground. I refuse to let manipulation and indifference continue to dictate our child’s emotional well-being.
A Call for Responsible Co-Parenting
This isn’t just about a goodnight call; it’s about responsible co-parenting. It’s about honoring agreements, ensuring our child’s peace, and fostering a loving connection. It’s about recognizing the traits of toxic motherhood, such as narcissism and manipulation, and striving for a better way.
In the darkness of the night, the tears may fall, but so does the resolve to fight for what’s right. It’s time to put an end to the goodnight call dilemma and create a bedtime routine that’s built on love and consistency. Our child deserves nothing less.
