Top Dumb Dad Jokes

1. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.

2. How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.

3. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.

4. What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Philippe Flop.

5. Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.

6. What brand of underwear do scientists wear? Kelvin Klein.

7. Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.

8. I just found out I’m colorblind. The news came out of the purple!

9. Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.

10. What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.

11. What kind of music do chiropractors listen to? Hip pop.

12. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

13. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

14. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

15. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.

16. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

17. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.

18. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? A king fish.

19. What do you call a bear that has no teeth? A gummy bear.

20. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.

21. What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil serpent.

22. What do you call a dog that can tell time? A watch dog.

23. What do you call a snowman with a six pack? An abdominal snowman.

24. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To get to the other side.

25. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.